Life's journey

In looking at my last post...Which was sometime ago I might add. It got me thinking. What role has my life experiences played in who I am today and where I am today in my life's journey.

I will not venture to tell it all here and now...But I will use this blog to journalize my life's experiences.

So without further adieu....I begin.

My life started at 21. Before that, I was persecuted. I was neglected friendship because I was different. I was living a life of solitude. I was different because at a young age of 2 1/2 years I endured a life altering experience. That being I was burnt over 35% of my body.

Surgeries over the course of 16 years had caused me to have no summers. School was a necessity, so my surgeries always happened in the later part of the school year with recovery period being in the summers. While other children were playing, swimming, water skiing, having camp fires, I was in the background. Relegated to observation only.

My mother. God bless her. During the 6 weeks while I was critical, she never left my side. I was in the hospital for six months. She never left me. She slept by my crib. She wiped my brow while I cried myself to sleep. I think I gained my strength to live from her. I think she made the biggest sacrifice of them all. She gave her soul in the hopes that I would survive.

It came time for me to go home. She nursed my wounds. Day in and day out. She never complained when I would fret and cry and say I didn't want any of this. She abandoned my brothers and sister to be with me. I feel bad about that. I thank the powers that be that she was there.

I spent my birthday in the hospital, the nurses were so good to me. They bought me birthday gifts. They tried their hardest to make my life the best it could be under the circumstances. They were a huge part of my recovery. Maybe that is why I am married to a nurse today.

Then there is my father. Thank god for him. He provided me with undying love, support and nurturing. He helped me through those very difficult times. My father has always been an integral part of my life. He endured in his life more than you and I can imagine. He was there through all my surgeries, my loneliness, my grief, all those summers while I had to sit by and just watch life. I so wanted to participate. He knew it. I felt like "Quasimodo" so disfigured. Who could love someone like me? Who would want to be with someone so disfigured. The persecution I endured was extreme. I became a fighter. Survival of the fittest. It was out of sheer necessity and I became hardened.

I remember one time in grade 6 and I was hanging with some kids. There was a girl who started talking about my burns. She commitment on how ugly they were. She said "nobody would ever love him because of his appearance" That if anything was burnt into my soul.

From that day on my soul changed. One day without notice, I obtained inner strength. I felt that I knew who I was, what I could do. I found that I didn't need anybody else. Life was going to be what "I" made it.

The grievous part about being different is that the persecution becomes your strength. It is unfortunate it has to happen this way. The weakness of other people enables you to gather strength. You learn from it.

You learn that the people who condescend you for being different, are weak themselves. They gather their strength in your differences.

There was a time in my life when people took pity on me. I didn't want that. I didn't want my scars to hold me back. There were the coaches who saw my physical alignments and would not work with me to achieve what I felt I could. Then there were the ones who did believe. They saw beyond my scars. They saw my spirit. My desire to achieve. They helped me and supported me however they could.

I knew I could be more than my scars. I was Douglas. I was strong. I was proud. No one was going to tell me I couldn't achieve. Damn them...Damn them all. I was going to achieve. I didn't' give a shit what they all thought. My burns would not limit my life. No one or anything was going to limit what I could do....Only me. I would set my limits.

So I leave it at that for now.

If anyone out there who reads this has a similar story I would love to hear from you. This is only the beginning. I will not focus my whole blog on this topic. But there will be times that I will reflect back onto my early years. So bare with me. I hope you enjoyed reading my blog.

My post below, I talk about my experience in meeting Luna the whale. I posted a link to that. That experience changed my life forever.